Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
