this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
