im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
