Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
don't judge my taste in strippers
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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