my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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