wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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