I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
