It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
