He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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