There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
