When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Randomize
