At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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