farters have to be the big spoon...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i drank out of a bidet.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
