I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
