i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
