this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
