Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
