i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
