I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
