do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
