I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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