his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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