I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He better not be in your backpack
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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