Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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