your room smells of hookers.
And success
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
