8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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