Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
