I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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