Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Randomize
