I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
