How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
