I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
