Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
