Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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