i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
