ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
