um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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