I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
honey bunches of taint.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
