today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
