Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
