you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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