If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
What a dumb baby whore.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
