the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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