Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
