theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
