Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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