Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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