it was like his penis was on wheels.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
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