I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
