I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
