If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
